Transfiguring Salt
by random smilie
Summary: Written for the "August Ice-cream Challenge". Ten years on, Petunia remembers the day James Potter came to her house and gave her a little goodness like it was yesterday.


Petunia Dursley huffed, one hand on Dudley's arm, urging him forward, away from the video games that lined the shop window. On a normal day, she would've humored him, waited patiently while he made his selection with the wide eyes of a five year old, and then promised to buy it for his birthday, or for Christmas, but if she was feeling especially fond (which was quite often) she'd buy it on the spot.

However, today was not a normal day, and so Petunia pushed and prodded and grumbled at and even scolded her son. Today the sun was glaringly bright and the even the cotton top she wore clung to her body like a suffocating second skin. It was the middle of summer, and all around her people were smiling and laughing because, really, there wasn't much to frown about, was there? But Petunia Dursley frowned, because there wasn't any whole meal bread at the bakers, and the milkman was on strike, and Dudley's pudgy hand was making hers sweaty, and everything was muddled and confused, and she felt old and lost, and everyone was smiling and laughing but she was frowning, because she woke up in the morning and suddenly realized it'd been exactly ten years since she'd first met James Potter, and she could still remember the encounter like it was yesterday.

"_Mum! We're home!"_

_Petunia listens as Lily's voice carries up the stairs of their small townhouse and rolls her eyes. So the freak had brought the guy she'd been raving about home so that their mother could fawn over him, and father could put him under the Spanish Inquisition while Petunia stood in the background and was ignored. This was the first time Lily brought a boy home; she had never even brought that dreadful boy that she used to be friends with to their home, so this guy must be something. Petunia sneers. He was probably ugly and fat and short (like Vernon), because that's the most the freak was worth. She strides out of her room, knowing that she'd have to show her face, otherwise Lily and their mother would never let her hear the end of it. She can hear a voice that's distinctly male which isn't her father's, and ignores the thudding of her heart._

"_-really isn't much", she hears Lily say. _

"_Don't be silly, Lily, it's wonderful," the guy chuckles._

_The staircase twists around, and Petunia shuts her eyes and when she opens them she gulps. The guy is definitely not short or fat, but lean and more than a head taller than Lily, who isn't tiny by any means. She can't see his face though; only the back of him and one hand tucked in jeans as he shakes her father's hand and leans down to kiss her mother's. _

_He says:_

"_Pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. I'm James Potter."_

_Father says:_

"_You've got a good handshake there, Mr Potter."_

_Mother says:_

"_Lily has told us so much about you!" _

_Lily says:_

"_Mu-um"_

_And Petunia just stands and stares at his back. _

_James Potter…_

_Mrs Evans spots Petunia and beams as she is saved from yelling up the stairs for her older daughter._

"_And there's Petunia. She's two years older than our Lily," her mother gushes. Well at least her mother is happy. And Lily too, because she's glowing, and Petunia envies her, because she never ever glows herself. She presses her lips together because her eyes are focused on him, and he's turning…and oh God!_

_Her heart flutters, pounds against her chest, and then stops altogether. He's beautiful. Black hair, the colour of the darkest of nights, that sticks up in all directions; he wears black rimmed, round glasses that sit slightly crooked on a slightly long nose; his skin is a bit pale, and it makes his hair seem even blacker; he wears a smile (no, a grin), too, and it makes a dimple in his left cheek, but not his right; but his eyes, oh God his eyes, they speak of mischief and joy and delight and laughter and amusement and good and they are so full, like they're trying to pass on all the goodness they hold to everything they see, including her, because her life's a little empty of it right now._

"_Hi."_

_She can't reply, but somehow manages to stiffly nod. Lily rolls her eyes and grabs his arm and drags him into the living room, behind their father, and their mother gives Petunia a look before following. She trembles uncontrollably, and sinks to the staircase for what seems like and age. All she can see is him, and her heart has stopped beating, so shouldn't she be dead by now? And perhaps it is quite a while because before she knows it, her mother is calling up to her to come down to dinner, and they eat dinner at seven o'clock on the dot, and the last time she checked the clock read five. _

_Dinner is anything but quiet. James Potter makes his mother laugh, and father laugh, and Lily seems to be laughing whenever she's in his presence, but the weirdest thing is, Petunia laughs too. The first time she does, her family just stares and goes deathly quiet, but James Potter grins at her._

"_So, you do laugh! And what a wonderful laugh it is!"_

_And she grins shyly (Petunia doesn't think she's grinned before, shyly or otherwise), and Lily smiles at her, even though she's shocked and bewildered. When dinner is over, and her father explains the inner workings of the kettle to James ("It just boils water? How fascinating!"), Lily takes her to the corner of the living room, grabs her hand and says,_

"_Thank you so much Tuney! You don't know how much this means to me!"_

_She nods and offers a small smile…no, grin… of her own, because only Lily called her Tuney, and she hasn't heard that name in seven years. And it's like the past seven years never did happen, and they're eleven years old again, on swings and laughing and twirling with daisies in their hair. _

_The evening is perfect. Petunia forgets that Lily is magic, and James is magic, and she doesn't really belong with them. Or maybe she doesn't forget, maybe she just doesn't care, because James Potter looked at her with those hazel eyes, and she thinks he gave her a little of bit of his goodness. So they play hide and seek, even though it really is just a kid's game and they laugh and laugh, and Petunia laughs and laughs and feels so free, different and happy. James says it might be time to go home when the clock ticks at ten o'clock, but the Evans family manages to convince him to the stay the night, so he sighs mock exasperatingly and tells them he'll be right back with his stuff._

"_But I'm warning you Lily, Sirius is gonna want to come, and you know how I can't refuse Sirius."_

"_You know what? I'm in too much of a good mood to care. Go get him."_

_James grins, pecks her on the cheek, takes a few steps away, spins on the spot and with a loud pop, he is no longer there. Petunia flinches at the kiss and jumps in fright at the sudden disappearance. As soon as he leaves, their mother squeals in delight and grabs Lily's hands, and their father definitely approves-apparently the handshake confirmed it all-and Petunia forgets that James Potter belongs to Lily Evans, or perhaps she doesn't, and really doesn't care right now. Because James Potter looked at her with those eyes that spoke of happiness and somehow filled her life with it in less than six hours. They all file into the living room and Petunia listens as Lily beams at her and tells her just how they got together. How he had been chasing her and was a complete git, but now isn't he just wonderful!_

"_Yes Lily. I'm glad you found someone like him."_

_But her voice is slightly bitter, and Lily feels guilty, because Lily is like that._

"_How's Vernon, Tuney?"_

"_Vernon is…Vernon"_

"_Oh…he did seem like a nice guy, though."_

_He was a nice guy. Even though he had large stomach, and was short, and not quite good looking, he was a nice guy. _

"_Thanks…Lily"_

_And Lily is slightly shocked and bewildered, but she smiles and claps her hands together anyway, and oh wasn't this just fantastic!_

_Another pop sounds from the hallway and in strides a devastatingly good looking guy who introduces himself as "Sirius Black. I'm this idiot's best friend."_

_But he shakes Petunia's father's hand, and kisses her mother's, and is delighted to meet them all, and so he is forgiven for calling James Potter an idiot. They talk a little, and laugh a lot. They hear more stories about James Potter, but now Sirius Black is added to the mix the stories are even funnier, and thank God Sirius Black didn't come during dinner, because Petunia doesn't think she wouldn't have been able to eat for surely she would've been rolling on the floor in hysterics. Then the clock strikes twelve, and it's time for bed, so they make arrangements in the living room so it's like a sleepover (even though sleepovers are for kids) and Petunia is included without a question. Lily and James decide to share the double bed they magic from the garage, and Petunia and Sirius sleep on opposite couches that are suddenly comfortable and wide (sometimes Petunia loves magic, but she will never tell Lily that). Lily and James go outside for a walk, and her parents leave upstairs with a,_

"_Don't stay up too late, kids!"_

_And so it is just Sirius and her, and for a good thirty seconds it's quiet. Awkwardly silent, before he breaks it._

"_Aren't you supposed to be a complete prat, or something?"_

_Petunia winces, because for a moment she forgot she was horrible to Lily on a normal day. But today was not a normal day, because James Potter came to visit._

"…_I was. But today I feel unprattish."_

_Sirius raises an eyebrow as Petunia flushes. Lily had probably told them all about all the bad stuff she had done._

"_Don't you hate us, or something?"_

_She feels distinctly uncomfortable, but doesn't answer. She sits primly on the enlarged couch, and Sirius flops down on the one in front of him, and flicks his head to get his hair of his eyes so that he can see her better. He cocks his head and quirks an eyebrow._

"_You do know there's a war going on, don't you?"_

_Petunia gulps. Yes, yes she does. Lily had stood up at the dinner table two weeks ago and told them there was going to be a war and she was going to fight, and even though there was a good chance she might die, there was absolutely nothing any of them could do to stop her. And if they did try to, she'd run away and never ever come back. And her mother burst into tears and hugged Lily as hard as she could, and her father wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, and he looked prouder of her than he had ever been. And Petunia just sat there, because no one really noticed her._

"_Yes."_

"_And do you know what it's about?"_

"_No."_

_Something about Death Eaters, she thinks. Sirius' mouth twists in a wry way. _

"_There's this group of people that hate non magical people."_

"_Like me?"_

"_Like you. Anyway, this git, Lord Voldemort, is the leader of them. He only likes Purebloods, which means that your whole line of ancestors are magical, and have never reproduced with Muggles. So, basically, anyone that is a Muggle, that's non-magical like you, Muggleborn, which is Lily, a Half-Blood, which means one parent is Pureblood and one is Muggleborn, so that would be Lily and James' offspring-"_

_Here Petunia gulps._

"_-and blood traitors, who are Purebloods like me who associate, help or marry Muggles, are all in danger of being murdered."_

_Petunia feels faint. All those people?_

"_But whatever for?"_

_Sirius shrugs._

"_They hate us, and are evil. Exploding Snap?"_

_He reaches into his pocket and grabs a pack of cards. Petunia is extremely confused. They hate non-magical people because of…Exploding Snap? She shakes her head to rid herself of the thought, but Sirius informs her that Exploding Snap is a game. They sit cross legged on the mattress in the middle of the couches, and Sirius teaches her the game, which she picks up very quickly, and is fabulous at, actually. By the time Lily and James return beaming and holding hands (she thinks she sees a glint of gold, but she dismisses the thought), Sirius's eyebrows have both been singed five times, and though he swears his nostril hairs are burnt, she doesn't believe him._

_So anyway, they go to bed, because it's one o'clock in the morning, and their eyes are beginning to ache and Sirius insists that sleep will do his nose hairs good. But even though she's so, so tired she cannot sleep. Her eyes are wide open, and she stares at James Potter in the moonlighted room. So she gives up, and walks to the kitchen, and, for lack of anything to do, begins to clean. As quietly as she can of course. But before she knows it, James Potter is up, slightly crooked glasses sitting on his slightly long nose, and is asking her what she's doing._

"_I couldn't sleep."_

"_So you're cleaning?"_

_They talk in hushed whispers, and it makes her think of other hushed words being spoken in her ear by a boy with jet black hair that would make her shiver and tremble in anticipation. _

"_Yes."_

_He shakes his head in disappointment and tells her to put away the cleaning utensils, and casts a spell so the sleeping Sirius and Lily won't be woken._

"_The best cure to lack of sleep is ice cream," he tells her as he hops on the counter. He indicates for Petunia to do the same, and it takes her two attempts to do so, but when she does she is rewarded with a grin._

"_Really? But we're out of ice cream. And anyway, I don't really fancy it very much."_

_James' mouth gapes open and he stares at her in shock._

"_What do you mean…by Merlin. Well, I'm going to change your opinion. What flavour is your favourite when you do eat it?"_

"_Vanilla."_

"…_Vanilla. Well no wonder you don't like it very much. Vanilla. Honestly, what is the world coming to? What about the rainbow flavour?"_

"_I've never had it before."_

_His mouth opens and closes like a dead fish, and Petunia flushes because with that mouth comes thoughts she doesn't think are proper._

"_You have not lived until you've eaten rainbow ice cream, Petunia. Do you have salt?"_

"_Well, yes."_

_She hops off the counter and grabs the salt from the top drawer._

"_And one big bowl please. The biggest you have. Oh, and two spoons."_

_She grabs the utensils, sets them at the counter next to him and hoists herself up, and this time she's up in one, and is rewarded with a grin. James twists himself around so he is cross legged, and Petunia does the same, so now they are facing each other. He pours roughly five handfuls of salt into the bowl, and holds his wand up, and murmurs a spell, and just like that ice cream filled with swirls of bubblegum pink and light purple and blue and yellow and orange and it makes her think of carousels and children and innocence and laughter. He hands her a spoon, and she inhales as much air as she can, sticks a spoon in the ice cream and shoves it her in her mouth. And oh God this is good!_

_It's like heaven, and she rolls her eyes, and how on earth had she never eaten this before? Because finally she feels alive, and she it's like she truly has never lived until now._

"_This is good…"_

"_Of course it's good."_

_He grins at her, shoves his own spoon in, and the whole gob of ice cream disappears in one. It's silent, only the soft sound of Sirius' snoring from the living room, and the chime when a spoon hits the side of the bowl._

_And Petunia has an urge to pour her heart out to this boy who's two years younger than her, and has given her life and happiness and joy, because her life had been a little void of it, really._

"_Do you know why Lily used to hate her hair?" she asks quietly. James looks slightly surprised at the question but shakes his head. Petunia looks down at her spoon, and says,_

"_When she was nine years old, she got the bicycle I'd been wanting for months. She didn't even like it, and she did let me ride it, but I was so jealous anyway. So I told her that her hair was the ugliest red I had ever seen."_

_James is silent._

"_But you probably know all this stuff. How I was horrible, and mean, and cruel."_

"_People change Petunia. You can change, but only if you want to. Lily told me how she snuck out of home once to go see her favourite band play, and you knew, but you didn't breathe a word. Everyone is good, Petunia, everyone. And that includes you. You don't have to be the smartest or the prettiest or the most inerresting, you just have to be good. Some people choose to show kindness and love, and some people don't, and that's what makes them different."_

_Petunia's eyes smart, because no one has ever, ever told she was good, because it's only ever been Lily this and Lily that. _

"_Thank you."_

"_Now, what do you say, do we finish this ice cream?"_

_And she grins back (because now she feels like a grinning person, not a frowning one), and soon they are talking like they've been friends since the day they are born, and she has to keep reminding herself that they only met today. And there's this one time his hand touches hers when they both reach for the ice cream with their spoons, and she shivers and trembles and every nerve, every cell, even her hair feels alive. But he doesn't freeze; he just resumes his talking, because no one really notices Petunia in that way (except Vernon, but right now she doesn't care about Vernon). She minds a little, but not too much, because James Potter looked at her and gave her a little goodness. _

_When all the ice cream is finished, they wash up, and he is a hair's breadth (or perhaps one foot) away from her, but it's her that is overcome with nerves and confusion, not him. Anyway, he climbs onto the mattress on the floor where Lily is curled, and Petunia flops onto the couch (she doesn't think she's flopped onto anything before), and they sleep. James one arm anchored around Lily, glasses on the floor beside him, face buried in her hair, and Petunia facing away from them so she won't cry, because, really, she's fallen in love with James Potter._

_The next day, after James Potter and Sirius Black leave, Lily takes her by the hand and leads her to the swings they used to play on when they were young with daisies in their hair, and then shows her the diamond ring on her finger (a gold glint) that makes Petunia's heart stop and says,_

"_James asked me to marry him and I said yes!"_

_Petunia's eyes smart and she grits her teeth._

"_Do Mother and Father know?"_

"_Of course they know! James said that Father approved of him as soon as he shook his hand. And Mum is practically in love with him."_

_And Lily glows, and Petunia is so, so jealous, because she never ever glows, and James Potter will never ever be hers, because it's always, always Lily._

"_You'll be my bridesmaid when we do get married won't you Tuney? It'll be a while, because James wants to buy his own flat and we want to finish the Auror Training program. I wasn't going to ask you, because I thought you wouldn't want it, but after last night I can't think of anyone better! You were so good yesterday and James said you had ice cream last night and-"_

"_Why are you bothering?" Petunia snaps at her before she can stop herself. She can feel her goodness and happiness running out, leaking into the green grass below them. Lily smile falters and her glow dims a little. Petunia smirks._

"_It's not like your marriage will last, or anything. You're out of your league, and James Potter deserves way better than the likes of you."_

_She regrets the words as soon as they fall out of her mouth, but she can't take it back, of course. Lily looks livid and furious and confused, but more than anything she looks hurt. _

"_And here I was thinking you changed Petunia. That we may have a second chance at repairing the friendship we used to have. But you know what? You're just jealous and cruel and spiteful as you've ever been, and I can't believe I let James make me believe you were any different."_

_Lily spins on the spot, her hair whipping around and her eyes flashing. Then she turns back again to tell her something before stalking off._

_Petunia sinks into the swing which she fits in but Lily doesn't because Petunia's bony and thin, and forces herself not to cry, and sticks her nose in the air because it wasn't like he was worth it anyway._

_And just like that, things go back to the way they were before James Potter came to visit, and looked at her with those eyes and filled her life with goodness, and introduced her to rainbow ice cream which made her feel alive for the first time in all her twenty years._

_Just like that._

Petunia finally succeeded in dragging a thrashing Dudley past an ice cream stall (he was getting a bit too wide), and grabbed his hand and tells him not to be naughty. His mouth snapped shut and his eyes widened in shock, because Petunia never ever called Dudley naughty, unlike _him_, who always got called naughty, and pest, and freak. So he sulked as they turned a corner and his mother pulled him down their street lined with perfect houses with white picket fences and immaculate gardens that didn't look like homes.

That's not a thought Petunia Dursley had ever had, because their street was normal, and that's all she had ever cared for in the longest of times. She had always wanted normal, like normal vanilla ice cream, and normal friends and normal tinkling laughter. Then James Potter came to visit ten years ago and showed a little bit of a life so richer than hers. James Potter, who she could've have been just friends with, but she was jealous and cruel and spiteful, so she never even attended the wedding even though she got invited (Lily and James never got an invite to hers).

Petunia walked robotically down Privet Lane, spotted a boy licking ice cream of his nose while his mother laughed at him and something snapped inside of her and she was overwhelmed with the urge to be young and happy and carefree again. So she twisted before they reached their house, and dropped Dudley off at his friends (Dudley was never attached to his mother very much, anyway), then turned back down the street because she remembered the ice cream shop she had to drag Dudley from. When she got there a long line awaited her, but she was patient and eventually she was at the front.

"One tub of rainbow ice cream, please."

The pimply boy looked in surprise at the bony thin lady who had been dragging her son away from this very store, but shrugged anyway and filled a tub withswirls of bubblegum pink and light purple and blue and yellow and orange that made her think of carousels and children and innocence and laughter. She gave him some money, refused the change, and walked back to her house, with its white picket fence and immaculate garden. She kicked off her sandals (She'd pick them up of course, but only until Vernon came home). The kitchen counter was spotless like always, and she placed the tub on it, grabbed a spoon, and hoisted herself up. It took her two attempts, but when she did get up, she rewarded herself with a grin.

She stuck the spoon in the tub, took a deep breath and shoved the gob of ice cream into her mouth. And it was like heaven all over again and oh God how did she go ten years without this stuff?

And she mused to herself, and grinned to herself, which she hadn't done in ten years, because she hadn't really felt like a grinning person. And she talked to herself, about life in general, and how Vernon called her Pet, but she wanted to be called Tuney, because Pet made her feel like one, whilst Tuney made her feel young and reminded of her of swings and daisies. And how no one bar Lily called her Tuney, but Lily was dead, dead, dead. So there wasn't really anyone left was there? A tear dropped on her hands and she hastily wiped it away.

And how she did go to their funeral to say goodbye, but she had never told Vernon that, because Vernon thought that Petunia hated their kind with a passion, when really, the two people she once loved more than anything were both different than she was. And the tears she had held back all those years came pouring out of her, and she sobbed and sobbed and shoved ice cream in her mouth and then it was half gone, and she couldn't possibly eat anymore because she was so full, so she laughed, because she had no one to share it with. Just like Lily said.

"_You know some time in the future, all this awfulness will make you hated and no one will love you. So one day, when you do feel like sharing and giving, you'll have no one to give it to, because no one will want anything from you."_

A thud shook her from her thoughts and she turned. And oh God, Harry Potter looked just like his father even though he's four years old (almost five, she remembers). But he had his mother's eyes.

"Aunt Petunia, what are you doing?" he asked hesitantly.

"Nothing," she snapped. She swung her legs around and hopped off the counter and straightened her clothes. She grabbed the ice cream to put it in the fridge for Dudley. But Dudley only ate chocolate ice cream, and then she saw Harry Potter in his ridiculously large clothes, so she changed her mind. She picked him up, seated him on the table, handed him a spoon and the ice cream, and told him to enjoy. His were eyes wide and baffled.

"But…what about Dudley?"

"This will be our little secret, all right? You don't breathe a word to Uncle Vernon or Dudley."

She watches him as he slowly scoops out a slob of ice cream and shoves it in her mouth. And as his light up with joy and he manages a muffled thank you as he digs in, she places a kiss on his head.

She picks up her sandals and grinned, because today she felt like a grinning person. Because James Potter looked at her ten years ago with those hazel eyes and filled her life with a little mischief and joy and delight and laughter and amusement and good.

And she thinks that maybe she still holds a little bit of that goodness.

**A/N: …So what did you think? I must say, I'm pretty proud of this, as it's roughly four times my average length. **

**This was written for "The August Ice-Cream Challenge", and I don't really have the energy to say anything else. Oh, thanks to Lexie-H, who was very patient with me when explaining the whole challenge/project thing.**

**random smilie**

**review…D**


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